Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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