If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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