im about as happy as oj after his trial
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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