I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize