I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
