He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
