break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
