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I faked an abortion last night.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
