Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
