He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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