I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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