I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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