He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
