I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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