as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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