please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
