I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
