Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
