end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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