you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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