i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
