my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
