why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
