what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
