i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
