worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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