Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
