I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
