it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
