I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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