How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
