just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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