i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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