smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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