Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
