So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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