the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
