Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
