Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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