Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
there is puke in my bra ... again
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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