i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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