If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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