just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
