belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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