the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
this will be a night to untag.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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