That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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