He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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