I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
