Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
