it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
