marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
